I will never forget my son’s second grade parent-teacher conference. He had a wonderful teacher who also happened to have at least three daughters. During the conversation, behavior was discussed as a usual part of the conference, and she noted that our son behaved fairly well. 

However, she said, “He does sometimes act like a boy.” 

I couldn’t help myself. I laughed and responded that I was glad to hear that since he is a little boy. Still, I have to believe that other children in the classroom were given the impression that “acting like a little boy” was a problem.

I was reminded of this experience reading a recent Wall Street Journal article, “A Generation of Men Give Up on College.” The story has a clear argument: Whether rich or poor, boys have fallen behind in higher education, both in enrollment and matriculation. But for both boys and girls, ambition and the desire for higher education must start before it’s time to turn in college applications. It starts in K-12.

But there isn’t a perfect one size fits all school system for children and that includes boys. In fact, Dr. William Pollack, a professor at Harvard Medical School, says many curricular environments are biased against boys' strengths. Some boys need more physical activity or hands-on learning. In fact, research suggests all children need more physical activity than they receive at school. But in recent years, PE and recess time has significantly shrunk, giving students who need it less time to work through energy. 

For other students, as The Wall Street Journal suggests, what is missing is male role models in teaching positions or other positions of leadership. Even research on reading suggests that, outside of the classroom, fathers and father figures should spend more time reading aloud to their sons in order to reiterate that learning and reading are not inherently “feminine.” Experiencing most reading culture through female teachers and mothers has often given the incorrect impression to children that men aren’t readers.

The list of reasons a boy could lose interest in school could go on and on. But the reality is families often know what their boys need. And if they are stuck climbing the walls of a classroom that isn’t a good fit, it can leave a lasting impression about learning on a child.

How can we do better by boys? Let families choose the school that will ignite a love of learning in their child. Let’s not start at the college level. Consider the ways our communities can impact male learning statistics earlier with school choice.