Story from one of our editors
As my 3-year-old boy splashed around in the bathtub last night, he dropped his rubber ducky and picked up a washcloth. Wrapping it around his face, he stood up and declared, “My mask is keeping the bad germs away!”
Though his eyes twinkled with jest and mischief rather than fear, it is moments like these - pretend masks and “closed” lego buildings - that make me wonder how children will fare in these strange times.
A recent article in USA Today had a good reminder though. Research ties child resilience to the family relationships. In fact, the Center on the Developing Child from Harvard University states, “The single most common factor for children who develop resilience is at least one stable and committed relationship with a supportive parent, caregiver, or other adult.”
In other words, there is irony in this troubling cultural moment. Our children may be driving us crazy, and there might be more sibling bickering, but child development specialists believe children will build resilience during this crisis because they are with us. In fact, some child psychologists are seeing a drop in anxiety and are discussing it frequently.
Tim Kearney, chief of behavioral health at Community Health Center Inc. in Middletown, Connecticut, described changes in school-age children. His organization provides student mental health services at nearly 100 school-based sites, and he explained students feeling significant anxiety relief during quarantine. Similarly, Sissy Goff, Director of Child and Adolescent Counseling at Daystar Counseling in Nashville, TN observes that she’s seen a drop in child anxiety cases too and hopes families will consider ways to simplify life post-covid19.
Another psychoanalyst out of Manhattan, Erica Komisar, has challenged families to ask themselves questions about how much time they work in an article titled, “Mommy, I like Coronavirus.” She argues,
The U.S. is one of the hardest-working countries in the world. More than half of all workers don’t use all their vacation days, according to the U.S. Travel Association, and mandated maternity benefits are meager compared with those of other developed nations.
Ultimately, she wonders whether this moment will make Americans reassess their priorities and the time they spend together.
Finally, USA Today also featured Amy Learmonth, a psychology professor at William Paterson University of New Jersey who studies children. She stated, “For toddlers, life during the pandemic is giving them exactly what they yearn for: the ability to more fully attach themselves to their parents stuck at home.”
Children are, of course, missing their friends and teachers. And my son recently begged to go sit down at the “chips and salsa” restaurant. We all miss enjoyable parts of everyday life. But in general, the psychology community seems to think there’s a small silver lining to this virus that will have significant social and emotional benefits - quality family time for children.
Still, we realize it is a silver lining to a major storm - families are stressed. Many are losing jobs, dealing with sickness, juggling work with homeschooling. It’s certainly not ideal. However, as daily routines are being drastically rearranged by quarantine, we wonder and want to reflect on how it will affect the daily lives of children and maybe even education reform. Here are our two takeaways:
If we want to have resilient children, we need to let parents be present and have a say in how kids live their lives, especially when it pertains to schooling. The psychological benefits of this moment are making that clearer than ever.
Schools can cause significant anxiety for children. If a child isn’t thriving, we need to let parents do something about it. Not every parent can afford to switch school districts or pay for private school. We need to pay more attention to struggling kids who have no choices. It is unacceptable that many children are mentally healthier because they have been out of school.
What are your takeaways? We love to hear how quarantine life has made you rethink your daily routines or education practices.